What are feelings, and where do they come from?
In causal coaching, feelings are seen as the output of our inner world, specifically the product of our thoughts and beliefs.They act as signals or indicators of what's going on inside us, reflecting the interpretations we make of situations and ourselves.
Here's a breakdown of the key points:
1. Feelings are not facts: Unlike external events, feelings aren't absolute truths. They arise from our subjective interpretation of situations, influenced by our personal experiences, beliefs, and biases. For example, two people witnessing the same event might have vastly different emotional responses depending on their past experiences or expectations.
2. Thoughts drive feelings: Causal coaching emphasizes the connection between thoughts and feelings. The way we think about things triggers specific emotional responses. This means that by shifting our thoughts and beliefs, we can ultimately influence how we feel.
3. Feelings serve a purpose: Emotions play a crucial role in our lives. They motivate us to take action, guide our decision-making, and signal potential threats or opportunities. For example, feeling anxious about giving a presentation might motivate us to prepare more thoroughly.
4. Identifying the "cause" of feelings: In causal coaching, understanding the underlying thoughts and beliefs driving our emotions is key. By exploring our internal narratives and questioning the validity of our interpretations, we can learn to manage our feelings more effectively.
5. Shifting the focus from "fixing" feelings to "understanding" them: Instead of trying to suppress or avoid negative emotions, causal coaching encourages accepting and understanding them as valuable data points. This allows us to address the root causes behind our feelings and create lasting change.
The Takeaway:
In causal coaching, feelings are not random occurrences but meaningful outputs of our internal world. By understanding the connection between thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, we gain the power to navigate our emotional landscape effectively and make conscious choices that are aligned with our desired outcomes.
Here's a breakdown of the key points:
1. Feelings are not facts: Unlike external events, feelings aren't absolute truths. They arise from our subjective interpretation of situations, influenced by our personal experiences, beliefs, and biases. For example, two people witnessing the same event might have vastly different emotional responses depending on their past experiences or expectations.
2. Thoughts drive feelings: Causal coaching emphasizes the connection between thoughts and feelings. The way we think about things triggers specific emotional responses. This means that by shifting our thoughts and beliefs, we can ultimately influence how we feel.
3. Feelings serve a purpose: Emotions play a crucial role in our lives. They motivate us to take action, guide our decision-making, and signal potential threats or opportunities. For example, feeling anxious about giving a presentation might motivate us to prepare more thoroughly.
4. Identifying the "cause" of feelings: In causal coaching, understanding the underlying thoughts and beliefs driving our emotions is key. By exploring our internal narratives and questioning the validity of our interpretations, we can learn to manage our feelings more effectively.
5. Shifting the focus from "fixing" feelings to "understanding" them: Instead of trying to suppress or avoid negative emotions, causal coaching encourages accepting and understanding them as valuable data points. This allows us to address the root causes behind our feelings and create lasting change.
The Takeaway:
In causal coaching, feelings are not random occurrences but meaningful outputs of our internal world. By understanding the connection between thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, we gain the power to navigate our emotional landscape effectively and make conscious choices that are aligned with our desired outcomes.
Do real men have feelings? Yes. Yes we do.
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Our thoughts drive our emotions. Always.
Here are some examples of how different people can have diverse thoughts and feelings about the same circumstances, highlighting the key concepts in causal coaching:
1. Job Interview:
2. Unexpected Rain:
3. Compliment Received:
4. Public Speaking Event:
These examples illustrate how our internal interpretations of circumstances shape our emotional responses. The same external event can trigger vastly different feelings based on individual thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences. This underscores the importance of understanding the causal link between thoughts and emotions in coaching, empowering individuals to manage their inner world and achieve desired outcomes.
Remember, everyone perceives the world through their own unique lens, leading to a tapestry of thoughts and feelings that color our experiences.
1. Job Interview:
- Person A: "Wow, the interviewer seemed impressed with my answers! I think I nailed it! Feeling optimistic and excited!" (Thought: They focused on my strengths and asked follow-up questions.)
- Person B: "That was awful! I stumbled over my words and messed up my presentation. Feeling anxious and worried about not getting the job." (Thought: They weren't engaged and barely smiled. My mistakes must have stood out.)
2. Unexpected Rain:
- Person A: "Great timing! This rain will be awesome for my garden and save me water bills. Feeling happy and thankful!" (Thought: It's beneficial for my plants and the environment.)
- Person B: "Ugh, not again! My picnic is ruined, and I have to walk home soaked. Feeling frustrated and annoyed." (Thought: It disrupts my plans and causes inconvenience.)
3. Compliment Received:
- Person A: "Thanks, that's kind of you to say! But I actually put a lot of effort into it, so I'm proud of myself." (Thought: Their appreciation validates my hard work and effort.)
- Person B: "Oh, I don't know about that. I'm sure anyone could have done it. Feeling awkward and uncomfortable." (Thought: They're just being polite, I don't deserve the praise.)
4. Public Speaking Event:
- Person A: "Speaking in front of so many people was exhilarating! I connected with the audience and enjoyed sharing my ideas. Feeling energized and confident." (Thought: I overcame my initial fear and delivered a meaningful message.)
- Person B: "Yikes, that was nerve-wracking! My voice trembled, and I forgot parts of my speech. Feeling embarrassed and disappointed in myself." (Thought: I choked under pressure and let everyone down.)
These examples illustrate how our internal interpretations of circumstances shape our emotional responses. The same external event can trigger vastly different feelings based on individual thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences. This underscores the importance of understanding the causal link between thoughts and emotions in coaching, empowering individuals to manage their inner world and achieve desired outcomes.
Remember, everyone perceives the world through their own unique lens, leading to a tapestry of thoughts and feelings that color our experiences.
Ever wondered why you do what you do?
Join me in Undaunted, where I'll show you how to harness the undeniable power of your thoughts, feelings, and actions to create the life you deserve to live.
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Learn to feel (not resist) your feelings.
In causal coaching, learning to feel your feelings rather than resist them is a crucial part of the journey towards self-awareness and emotional mastery. Here's why it's important:
1. Suppression isn't sustainable: Resisting or suppressing feelings often involves pushing them deep down, hoping they'll disappear. However, like a pressure cooker, emotions held back tend to resurface later, often with increased intensity and unwanted consequences. Ignoring anger might lead to explosive outbursts, suppressing sadness can manifest as physical ailments, and resisting fear can turn into procrastination.
2. Understanding the message: Feelings serve as valuable signals telling us something about ourselves and our needs.Resisting them cuts us off from this rich source of information. By allowing ourselves to feel, we can identify the thoughts or beliefs triggering those emotions and address the root cause, instead of just treating the symptoms.
3. Building emotional intelligence: When we embrace our feelings, we learn to identify them accurately, understand their nuances, and express them constructively. This emotional intelligence empowers us to navigate relationships effectively, make informed decisions, and respond to challenges with greater resilience.
4. Acceptance fuels growth: Resisting feelings often stems from a fear of negativity or discomfort. However, accepting all emotions, even the unpleasant ones, allows us to experience our full range of humanity. This empowers us to learn from challenges, develop coping mechanisms, and cultivate inner peace.
5. Cultivating self-compassion: Resisting negative emotions can lead to harsh self-judgment and criticism. Allowing ourselves to feel, however, opens the door to self-compassion. We understand that emotions are simply messengers, and we can respond to them with kindness and understanding. This fosters a healthier relationship with ourselves and promotes genuine emotional healing.
In causal coaching, the emphasis is on understanding the "cause" behind your emotions. By feeling your feelings without judgment, you gain access to valuable insights that can empower you to shift your thoughts, beliefs, and ultimately, your emotional responses. This creates a foundation for conscious choice and lasting change.
Remember, learning to feel your feelings is a process, not a destination. There will be times when resistance arises, but with practice and self-compassion, you can cultivate a deeper connection to your inner world and navigate your emotions with wisdom and grace.
1. Suppression isn't sustainable: Resisting or suppressing feelings often involves pushing them deep down, hoping they'll disappear. However, like a pressure cooker, emotions held back tend to resurface later, often with increased intensity and unwanted consequences. Ignoring anger might lead to explosive outbursts, suppressing sadness can manifest as physical ailments, and resisting fear can turn into procrastination.
2. Understanding the message: Feelings serve as valuable signals telling us something about ourselves and our needs.Resisting them cuts us off from this rich source of information. By allowing ourselves to feel, we can identify the thoughts or beliefs triggering those emotions and address the root cause, instead of just treating the symptoms.
3. Building emotional intelligence: When we embrace our feelings, we learn to identify them accurately, understand their nuances, and express them constructively. This emotional intelligence empowers us to navigate relationships effectively, make informed decisions, and respond to challenges with greater resilience.
4. Acceptance fuels growth: Resisting feelings often stems from a fear of negativity or discomfort. However, accepting all emotions, even the unpleasant ones, allows us to experience our full range of humanity. This empowers us to learn from challenges, develop coping mechanisms, and cultivate inner peace.
5. Cultivating self-compassion: Resisting negative emotions can lead to harsh self-judgment and criticism. Allowing ourselves to feel, however, opens the door to self-compassion. We understand that emotions are simply messengers, and we can respond to them with kindness and understanding. This fosters a healthier relationship with ourselves and promotes genuine emotional healing.
In causal coaching, the emphasis is on understanding the "cause" behind your emotions. By feeling your feelings without judgment, you gain access to valuable insights that can empower you to shift your thoughts, beliefs, and ultimately, your emotional responses. This creates a foundation for conscious choice and lasting change.
Remember, learning to feel your feelings is a process, not a destination. There will be times when resistance arises, but with practice and self-compassion, you can cultivate a deeper connection to your inner world and navigate your emotions with wisdom and grace.
Do grown men cry? Absolutely. And you can too.
Join me in Undaunted, where we learn the healing process of embracing our emotions, rather than resisting them.
Are you in?
Are you in?
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